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Language and Communication Accepts not getting what he or she wants sometimes  This resource has been viewed by a moderator.


Pupil accepts not getting what he/she wants on some occasions.

Early years skill:Managing feelings and behaviour
Early years typical range:30-50m
P-scales/Curriculum skill:PSHE and Citizenship
P-scales/Curriculum level:P7
TAP skill:Social Interaction
TAP level:TAP42
Pre/Nat. Curriculum Area:not specified
Pre/Nat. Curiculum Standard:not specified
Section:Early Years (0-5yrs) info; Primary (5-11yrs) info
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Activity/strategy name and materials required How to do the activity Key principles for doing the activity and comments
Turn taking in a circle

Selection of highly motivating toys

Squeeze ball/sponge

1. Sit the children in a circle and take toys out of a bag. The child is allowed first choice of toys on the first occasion that toys are taken out of the bag but on subsequent occasions will have to wait. A squeeze ball or sponge may help a child to wait by giving the child something to fiddle with while they wait.

2. While the child is waiting for a go with a desirable toy praise good waiting.

3. Gradually extend the time the child must wait.

Sharing desk equipment during class.

'First......then' card - example

Desk equipment e.g. glue, scissors, rulers.

Introduce a 'First.....then' card to the child and show that first someone else has a go with the scissors/glue etc and then he/she can have a go.

Situations where the child has to accept not having his/her own way straight away.

A short 'story' specially written to explain the behaviour that is wanted in the situation.

When you know a problem situation is going to emerge write out a short story about the future event giving one idea about the behaviour you hope to see. Use simple language which is unemotional and factual. Allow the child to keep this descriptive story in a book or bag or pocket for reference as needed.

An example of a story for helping a child not get what they want straight away:

"Sometimes lots of children want the same thing at the same time.

Sometimes I really want ...........and I have to wait. This is hard. Sometimes it makes me feel angry.

Other children can feel angry when they don't get what they want too.

I will try to keep calm when I don't get what I want straight away. Sometimes my teacher will help me get what I want a bit later on.

Most children don't get what they want all the time. When this happens to my friends they try to keep calm. I will try to be like my friends and keep calm if I can't have what I want straight away."

Writing short stories to explain difficult situations and to help children manage their behaviour is a technique developed by Carol Grey. The stories are called Social Stories.

Her books about writing social stories and how to use them include:

'My Social Story Book' and

'New Social Story Book'.

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